Exchange of Tears
by LadyAmy23
Summary: Merry is feeling guilty, can he explain to his friend? Takes place at the same time as the Entmoot in TTT. Bit of fluffy comfort! Rated K for mentions of violence, to be on the safe side. My first fanfic! Not slash unless you squint, just friendship!


_Disclaimer: All characters etc borrowed from the great JRR Tolkien!_

 _Words in italic are direct quotes from TTT movie._

 _'There's always the Shire'._ Pippin's heart sank as he said it, clutching at anything that could help him keep his friend's hopes up, to give him strength; yet even as he spoke, he did not believe the words himself. Pippin had always known how to cheer Merry up, even when the older Hobbit got cross with him for causing some sort of mischief and going too far. Now, he saw Merry's distraught face and was filled with anguish that he could not bring joy into his friend's life, and make all the world's problems melt away. All he could think of was home, even though he knew it was hundreds of miles away and they may never even see it again. He couldn't tell Merry that, though. He had to remain optimistic for him.

 _'The fires of Isengard will spread, and the forests of Tuckborough and Buckland will burn. And all that was once great and good in this world will be gone. There won't be a Shire, Pippin.'_ Merry fought back tears as he faced the reality of their hopeless situation. Being the older of the two, he was always the strong one, the one who kept them out of trouble (or at least tried to cover up their misadventures). Now though, he did not know what to do. He did not know how to keep Pippin safe, and the idea of anything happening to his friends made him feel afraid. The idea of anything happening to Pippin, however, invoked a pain he did not know he could feel, like a knife piercing his gut. Merry decided he needed some air before his friend saw the tears in his eyes. He could not bring himself to crush Pippin's hopes any further. Pippin must be oblivious to the gravity of the situation, and Merry decided not to blame the young Hobbit for his foolish notions.

Merry left his friend next to the huge oak tree, and wandered over to the small pool that was a few minutes' walk from the Entmoot. He sat down on the grassy edge, feet dangling into the cool, clear water. It was a relief to feel the coolness on his skin, for his feet still ached from running with the Uruks and everything that had happened after. Merry bowed his head, feeling weary. He had no idea how long he sat there for; he simply sat taking in the sounds of the forest and thinking about the feeling of the water on his feet. Suddenly, he heard a sound in the undergrowth somewhere nearby and jumped to his feet, startled.

Pippin emerged from around a bush, surprised to see Merry looking so afraid. His bright blue eyes blazed with terror which quickly dissipated into the same sadness he had noticed earlier when they had been speaking. The Hobbits' capture and subsequent torture had taken it's toll on Merry, and this did not go unnoticed by his friend. The two shared a close bond, they had done for years, and each was perceptive enough to know when something was wrong with the other.

'I didn't mean to startle you, I'm sorry'. Pippin approached his friend, who turned back to the water's edge and seemed to gaze down into it's depths as though trying to look deep down to it's very bottom. Pippin was anxious for his friend's wellbeing when he did not speak to him.

'Merry?'

'I'm sorry, Pippin.' Merry seemed unwilling to look at his friend.

'What for?'

Merry turned around, and Pippin could see his blue eyes pooling with tears. The younger Hobbit stepped forward and laid a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

'You've nothing to be sorry about, Merry'. Pippin knew his friend blamed himself, that he felt protective of the younger Hobbit, because he felt the same way about Merry.

'It's me who should be apologising.'

'What?' Merry sniffed and looked into Pippin's green eyes, blinking back his tears.

'Well, I'm the one always getting us into trouble. I oughtn't do without thinking so much. Maybe Gandalf's right. I am a fool.'

'Oh, come on Pip. We all do foolish things now and again. I don't blame you, not for any of this. But I - ' Merry's voice broke and trailed off. He moved away from Pippin and around the edge of the pool. He could no longer look at his friend, instead looking at the floor, at the trees, anywhere but at Pippin. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. 'I should have done something, protected you. How did I let this happen?'

There was no stopping the tears now. They fell thick and fast, and Merry sank to his knees, strength leaving him, despair overwhelming him. He had held it in since the two of them had escaped, and now there was no stopping it. The friends had not discussed the events of what had happened whilst Merry had been unconscious across the Uruk's back, but he knew whatever had happened to Pippin had left it's mark in more ways than one. He had spotted the welts and lashes that patterned his friend's back when he had caught sight of him in the bathing pool, despite the young Hobbit's attempt to cover himself up, not wanting his friend to see the damage that had been inflicted. Then there were nightmares that Pippin had yet never seemed to remember, where Merry had lay close to him, holding his hand and stroking his hair when they had interrupted his sleep.

Pippin was at Merry's side in an instant. His arms encircled the fallen Hobbit, enveloping him into a close embrace. Now they were both crying, crying for their friends who were goodness knows where, crying for the friend who had sacrificed himself in battle for them, crying for each other – especially for each other. The friends held each other, and Merry felt his fears melt away in Pippin's hug, and Pippin felt a sense of belonging and security whilst Merry's arms were around him. The two sat like this for a while, letting their sobs subside as the chaotic world's problems melted away as they felt each other's hearts beat. Their ragged breaths slowed, and suddenly, both Hobbits felt a sense of drowsiness, as though the release of their emotions had drained them.

They ended the embrace, but Merry kept his hands on Pippin's shoulders. Looking into his friend's green eyes, he spoke softly but seriously.

'Pippin, listen to me. I'll never let anyone or anything hurt you ever again. I pro-' Pippin cut him off.

'Don't make promises you can't keep. We don't know what lies ahead of us.' Merry looked crestfallen, so Pippin continued. 'What we can do, is promise to look after each other. Always.'

Merry smiled. 'I think I can live with that'.

Pippin kissed his friend on the forehead, and Merry ran a playful hand through his friend's curls.

'Come on. Treebeard'll wonder where we've been... assuming he's had time to notice we've been gone.' The Hobbits chuckled, thinking of how long it had taken their new friend to make a decision with his kin on whether Merry and Pippin were 'little orcs' or not.

Merry flung an arm around Pippin's shoulders, and Pippin leaned in to Merry, throwing an arm around his waist. They walked back to the grassy clearing where the Entmoot was taking place, their already inseparable bond strengthened further by the horrors they had been through and the exchange of tears.


End file.
